Well. This is the second part of our attempt to give the other side a little bit of time on The Angry Republican site. As you probably already know, we deeply care about presenting all sides of each issue.(choke)..SO.. Last time we looked at how long The Big Bang Took. Now lets look at The Big Bang itself..
In the beginning there was a huge void.. No wait.. They changed that because a void has nothing in it and we know Atoms were flying around in there so it couldn''t be a void. OK.. In this. space, Atoms were flying around. No wait.. They changed that too because Atoms fly around all the time and we do not have little universes created everyday..OK.. In this void/space.. We have particles zipping along..Wait..no.. They changed that too. Particles slam into each other all the time, there would be hundreds of universes everywhere.
OK, now I have it.. In the space/void. There where two-- Super-special-magical particles. (super-special-magical particles because only a couple ever were created.) These super-special-magical particles were going REALLY fast and they slammed into each other..BANG. Fast forward 17 billion years and a handful of monkeys decided to get smart, the other monkeys didn''t want to. BINGO. Here we are.
Now, maybe because a bunch of students each year would ask Teachers: "How would you get this big universe out of two particles?" Science has given us another possibility.. The Black Hole-Big Bang Theory..
I have decided to write the set-up like Dr Seuss would.. Here we go..
There once was a huge void, that wasn''t much of a void at all.
There lived a Black Hole with no hole, he was more like a ball.
This ball was BIG, Colossal, INDEED this ball would be tall.
Except for the fact that this ball was very, very, very small.
Ok.. Here we go. In the void,(which isn''t a void) There is a Black Hole, (which isn''t a hole) There is a huge ball, but it isn''t huge because of it''s size, It has mass crammed up the Ying-Yang. This ball really SUCKs. It is sucking everything into itself because it has so much gravity. You wouldn''t be able to see this ball because light cannot even leave its surface. ("How do we know it is there if we can''t see it?") You must just trust me my child. You must have faith.
THIS BALL HAS SUCKED LONG ENOUGH...BANG!!!!!
Then of course you have that monkey getting smart thing.. Then you have us--we- You and I.
If you happen to be studying The Big Bang Theory this year, let me give you some advice. DO NOT LAUGH while the professor is telling you this stuff. Do not ask questions like "Who or what made The Black Hole." This will get you into trouble. If you can, view a couple of Nazi prison camp movies before you go to class. Study the prisoners. When the teacher begins, DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH THE TEACHER. Sit very still, Don''t ask questions. You can make it through the lecture without laughing, I did. While the teacher is talking, think of a dying puppy. It''s sad, but it helps.AR.
12 comments on The Big (bang)?
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You seem to be approaching this from the perspective that scientist sit and around and say, well maybe the universe started this way. Physics is done in pure mathemtics, pages and pages of equations. These equations make predictions or explain phenomena, and these equations are the real theory. The stuff that you read and her from pundits is someone (usually not the people who did the math) trying to translate the implications of the equations into english. This doesn't always work well because math is one truth based off of another and another in a slow and arduos process, niether english nor any other launguage but math works this way. The person who translates the implications doesn't tranlsate the proofs because any attempt to do so would end up more convoluted then Wolf's attampt to explain the first attosecond of the universe. Reading these very short translations and trying to critique the theory is like an athiest trying to critique christainity after reading a jehova's witness pamphlet, your instantly going to recognize that he doesn't know what he's talking about. Liberals have been screwing up scientific theroies (especially environmental ones) this way for thirty years. Now conservatives are about to screw up a good MATHEMATICAL theory in intelligent design the same way. Scientist pay very little attention to politics and so don't realize that they need to come out and say, either go back to school and learn calculus so that you can atually understand these theories or shut up and leave the stuff to us.